That should probably be the name of this blog… but something happened this weekend that takes the cake as far as awkward encounters go.
This weekend was my friend Danielle’s boyfriend’s 30th birthday at Sidebar on 15th and Irving. He wanted it to be a “friends and family” event, so his family came in from all over the country, and it was at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday. For most young city folk like myself, this is an extremely odd time to go to a bar. But my friend Steph and I played along and attended the event dressed to the nines.
Why this party was so sublimely awkward, was that the couple’s parents were meeting at this event for the very first time. I have known Danielle’s parents since I was about nine years old, so it was very unsettling to see The DiMichelo’s while I was getting my drink on on a Saturday afternoon. Nevertheless, Steph and I continued to play along as Danielle’s father Angelo DiMichelo offered to buy our drinks, and chatted casually about our jobs and living in the city.
The awkwardness intensified as Angelo made disapproving comments like, “So this is the kind of place where you guys hang out?”. We thought there was nothing wrong with this bar, but apparently Ang had a major problem.
“There are slim pickings here! I even went to the next room, there is no one here for you. You ladies need to go to a nice bar, order one drink, nurse it, and then have some guys buy you the rest.”
He was basically giving us dating advise. He was trying to teach us how to have game.
I think neither of us really knew what to do with this advice. First off, we were trying to control our laughter and our darting looks at each other that read, “Is this really happening?”. Second of all, I think we started wondering, does this guy actually know what he is talking about? Because he seemed to know a thing or two about the dating scene.
Shortly thereafter, these two men approached us and started up a conversation. I don’t think they realized that beside us were two parents, but we made them quite aware of that very quickly, to avoid any further awkwardness. It was bad enough that I was getting drunk in front of The DiMichelo’s, but now men were hitting on me! This needed to stop.
Angelo got straight down to business. He started quizzically asking the standard questions, “Where do you work?”, “Where are you from?”, “How old are you?”.
He eventually whispered over to Danielle, “Not good on paper”. He was sizing them up!
I think the boys got sufficiently awkward and finally escaped the interrogating parents and eventually left the bar, probably scarred for life on approaching women at bars.
That was when the awkwardness reached an all time high. I was legitimately drunk, and Toni and Angelo DiMichelo needed to leave. They sensed this and immediately started gathering their things. “Are you going out tonight after this?” Angelo asked. “Yes” I replied. “Good, good. Enjoy yourselves, there is nothing like being young, and you are in your prime.”
They say youth is wasted on the young; but lets keep the young people naive, and the older, wiser people, home and in bed on Saturday nights.
One Comment
HAHAH omg this is too funny.